Flowers are for the living & “othering” world problems

So, after some heartbreaking news on Twitter this morning, I shopped and went to sipping (Hawaiian Ginger Ale - the closest I could get to Jamaican ginger beer). Don't judge. I'm generally not a social media scroller, despite having innumerable blogs. But after I read an item that confirmed my suspicion about two missing boys I was a full 40 minutes parked on the corner, sobbing and scrolling for anything that would put my heart back together again.

Finally, I called my regular Wednesday morning listening buddy and we split the time available, 10 minutes each. By the time we finished, I had enough of myself back and grounded to go onto the errand for which I had parked, and moved onto the next errand, find a picture frame. I was about to pass by a little shop I'd never seen before and pulled into a miraculously available parking space without endangering other motorists. So here I am making this post, listening to their frog pond after getting a gift card to Goodwill for the person whose pants were sagging as we headed to drop my daughter off. I realized recently that I settle for doing things when being feels too painful . Doing has gotten me through school, excruciating divorce, and all manner of untold horror. But I come to realize that settling for Mary is not doing her role as an essential worker in Jesus' day justice or improving my prayer life. The fact that I got even more bad news as I scrolled should have indicated or invited me more directly to go to my Bible. Alas, the pain was too sharp and unexpected. Which reminds me of a nightmarish dream I was having that actually sent me to box breathing in bed until I could get my mind back from the freak out mode in progress. I recently learned that I can unhook the dreama instead of remaining unhinged. I know all of this sounds rather like a ramble because it is but today that's as good as it gets. If you looked at the picture, there's a box of Gumi-aid fruit flavored gummies in the shape of first aid strips "for life's boo-boos" . I owe a bushel of thanks to my daughter for all the not-yets I've shoveled in her direction in recent months so I will give her one  a day with apology for the opportunities I have missed to cherish her and spend time with her.